Happy Medicine

Dont know what is the damn day today that brought so many unlucky things to me! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I felt sad when I saw her happily talking about how well she was handling the thing. I felt compassionate for her. I reminded her that she should have been careful with what she said and did! But she still seemed confident ad proud of what she had done. I just could secretly sigh to think about when she know the truth that I found! She must feel very disappointed and hurt! She’s weak! But I can’t do anything to help her!

I find that a woman should not be too weak and dependent! Otherwise she will get shocked and stuck when she faces hard things that she never can imagine! If I were her, I wouldn’t be able to stand it! I am an independent girl but I am still too weak to face such things!

Must be stronger to face life, Thuy! Be strong and Never cry anymore!

  What made me think of you more than usual today? Can’t get my mind off you!

I used to love having daughters more than sons but i started to rethink when I see what happened to my cousins, especially yesterday.

My cousin came to my house and brought some cans of beer. She got sad NOT because she broke up with her recent boy some days ago but because she heard that her ex-boyfriend (before the recent boy) had a girl friend who is “pretty, 1m63 tall and 2 years older than him” :D. That guy is my brother’s close friend and seems very loyal. He used to continuously present my cousin flowers all 6 months long after they broke up, even when she got another boyfriend. then he gave up when he didn’t receive any sign of being moved from her…

She started to cry and drank beer. I said “you can cry but don’t drink. Don’t break you stomach.” Anyway when I was in the bathroom to take a shower, she almost finished three cans and got drunk. I jumped to her to take the third can and threw into the rubbish bin. I took her to my bed to rest but she threw all my pillows, my hugging pillow and my loved teddy bear into the floor!!! She almost threw my laptop down before I snatched it and put on the table. She took her phone and called the guy to make him worried. He drove to my house and stayed in the rain outside and then talked to me in the phone until I made sure that she was ok then he came back home. haizza!

Later she leaned her head on my knee. When I hugged her and stroked her hair, she started to speak like a radio reporter:

- Thủy ơi, i like you stroking my hair

- Uhm

- Thủy ơi, why dare he forget me and fall in love with a girl who is “pretty, 1m63 tall and 2 years older than him” ?

- Because you forgot him first. But it’s not your fault ’cause you did your best as your heart and your head told you.

- Do you feel disappointed with me?

- Yes. But I love you and I don’t want you to be suffering.

- Do you still love anh Avin?

- Who is he? (=D)

- The one’s name means “not good” í! bad í! ah, evil.

- It’s not his name.

- Who do you love more? anh Avin or anh “…” ?

- The two names are one person. (:D)

(God bless me! I told her too much! Two years ago, my brother and she used to call that name “Underwear” to more easily remember. akak).

- Thủy ơi, I am sad!

- Uhm

- Do you act like me if the person you love has another girl?

- No. Never. If I have to cry for that I will cry alone. Anyway I know you. You don’t love him anymore. You just feel lost because you always think he’s yours but now he’s not anymore. Now you just need time to rest. Don’t be hurried. When you are calm again you will see what you should do.

- No I love him. I want to hold him back. Why dare he love a “pretty, 1m63 tall and two-years-older-than-him” girl?

- If he doesn’t love you anymore. Don’t try to hold him back. He will look down on you and even if he stays, you won’t be happy anymore. I can forget the person very quickly if i have a feeling that he doesn’t care about me anymore because I know well that it doesn’t deserve my sadness. Wait until you are more calm to act. If it is a fate that he is yours then finally he will be yours. If it’s not, even though you try hard, he will finally leave you.

- But I am afraid its too late. and I will have to regret.

- One week or two weeks of waiting to be calmer doesn’t affect love. Love is a long way.

…

- Does he love you? What will you do if he falls in love with another girl?

- If he feels happy and I can’t do anything I want for him, I will feel happy for him.

- No. You have to to fight to have him.

- …

- Do you love me?

- Yes. Very much.

- I love you too. You are a good mother. I will get married with you! (!!!)

- Uhm. I will do it if you go to bed and sleep. Tomorrow you will feel better.

…

But she didn’t sleep. She kept talking a bit before I called a taxi to take her and her sister back home ’cause they left the house carelessly locked and their parents were not home. Haizza. I always love to have daughters, prefer daughters to sons, since I think to bring up sons to make them good is more difficult than doing so with girls. Moreover I want to read books for them, teach them playing music, make up and dress up daughters when they are growing :). But now, I think i will feel very painful and sad if i have to see my girls suffering from love or doing unproper things because of love. Girls are now very different from ones in my generation. they really need more care and also love from their parents, their relatives in a way they feel that they are talking to a special friend.

It seems not less tiring to bring up daughters if you are not well prepared and subtle enough.

Don’t leave my hand and hold another hand! Even when I said so, I never wanted it to happen! I was just not confident!

Think about me and believe me!

The whole world can think we are mad but we can make a miracle!

Sometimes right after you do a thing, you have a feeling that you will fail.

I really lose belief in myself!

Sighs!

. I hurt a person today because of my sensitiveness. After all bad and painful experience I’ve had I see I become more and more sensitive now :’( I am afraid of everything and ready to fight anyone. How can I change the situation? How can I turn back time to remove all bad impression I had in my mind?

. It’s today, I also realize that how much i love my parents… I can’t make them sad…

Thuy relax…

When i saw the smart-looking and lovely little girl get surprised and said “thank you”, I knew I’d done a right thing. Maybe God let me directly do it instead of another as I intended. forever goodbye my foolish time.

The end of one thing is always a start of something new!

I feel totally released!

Not many notice my feet and very few recognize how special (ugly) the toes are :D. I like the name they were called: “hobbit” feet

Anyway to me, they are very nice and beautiful, like the person who have them

Just back from the holidays. feel tired but really relax and found one thing: good-looking men like to stare at me :)) Anyway only the man i need likes staring at me is enough :}

I have a big question: what makes a man like a woman?

why do you like/love me?

What are the differences between like and love? Is it difficult for some men to speak it out?

Miss miss miss very much!

Some days ago I met some friends and when they showed me the travel guide book entitled “Lonely Planet” to ask me a word in that book, I suddenly had in my mind one question: why is the book entitled “Lonely Planet”. Is this because when you are alone in a new place, you will have the book stay besides, tell you necessary things like a friend? Probably! Perhaps they have more reasons. I will check up on internet later.

My brother has been home for almost a month. he went out to meet friends and had a lot activities almost everyday but 2 days ago he changed his status on yahoo and facebook in Spanish which says “I want to go. I am lonely in this big city…” I had to look those up in google translate to understand and i felt sad but just a little bit surprised. When I asked him about that he smiled, tried to deny but when I said why I knew it, he smiled again and didn’t say anything. I didn’t question him more because i could understand somehow and felt compassionate for my poor brother. My bother and I are really alike in at least one thing: we keep our sadness inside so that we don’t bother others! But the feeling is not always obedient.

One of the pressures my brother has comes from my parents. after my brother’s two years living far from home, my parents still want him to be a child under their control. Before he arrived home, i tried to persuade them to respect him as a mature person, listen to him and avoid criticizing him. But it just worked for few days and then my parents wanted to control my brother’s actions again, like before he went abroad. I can understand their feelings. People who care about their children too much and too carefully will feel lost more when their children become grown up and independent enough to decide their life themselves without asking their parents. For sure my parents feel difficult to accept it when they don’t have rights on their children anymore. and the result is my brother feels bored when he has to listen to “life lessons”every days given by my parents and their advice to ask him to do this, not do that… He wants to go out of the house all the time even though he doesn’t have to. His friends have their own issues and I have my own things to do, so we can’t be with him all the time. as a result, he feels lonely sometimes when he needs, no one can respond or understand him. at the meantime, my mother calls me often just to ask me to “teach” him how to live better, ask my parents before he goes everywhere and come home instead of spending time all the day outside. When I explained: I can’t teach him, he’s grown up, i just can talk to him as a friend, as a sister and give him my ideas and let him decide himself, my mother felt disappointed and thought I didn’t stand by my parents. it’s hard to make both feel comfortable in this case even though I understand their feelings and want to help them. i just can feel sad and stuck. even though it’s hard, hopefully time can makes my parents get used to the situation. and we, ourselves, hopefully can find a solution to make our parents understand us and respect our mature life. Its interesting and also hard to find that when people get old, they want to talk more, show their knowledge more, complain more and even “teach” more… it’s just because they have fewer things to care about, fewer things to do and they feel more lonely, which makes them have a need of communicating more.  They are afraid of the feeling that they are not needed for others, for life anymore :). We understand that and one day we will become so but it’s hard to deal with the problem.

In this case, people all need help but there is no “lonely planet” book to assist us!

—

I shared the question with one of my friends and she recommended me try some songs by this guy. Quite like his voice, for example, in the following song.

i met her again in my business trip to Ha Giang- The gentle girl I flunk in the recent recruitment because of her cold answer to a sensitive question! I didn’t appreciate her but i never hated her despite the unclear story between her and the new colleague.

However when i had time to communicate with her and listened her life stories, observed the way she treated people, i saw in her a beauty of an independent but still very pure, gentle and benevolent woman. She just came back to Vietnam after 10 years living in France, Italia and Australia but she looks very simple like a country girl with all traditional values of a Northern Vietnamese girl. I still don’t know why she reacted so to my question in the interview. I don’t mean after i knew the woman more, I felt guilty that I didn’t choose her. Actually now i still think that she’s not suitable for the job. Because of the failure in the interview, today she came back to her hometown in the center of Vietnam and stayed in the same bus with me on the way to Hanoi. We sat next to each other…

When I finished the shower and touched my phone in the evening, I saw her sms saying “How are you? Are you tired yet.. I am happy to know you. Thank you so much for your kindness. You are really a nice person…..” I felt ashamed. I didn’t do anything to help her besides talking to her… I even….:(

But anyway I understand that I was given a chance to get to know a good person… and that we need time, need communication to understand a person…

and there are still many good people around us!:)

 I used to like this teen movie very much when i first watched long ago and sure i liked heath ledger’s character in the movie very much:p. he is a talented actor but what a pity this actor died too early last year. Based on the poem “10 things I hate about you” in this movie i wrote another similar poem to say some similar emotion i had at the time and posted it here :p. Still feel touched when read it again.

and this song is quite cool though i have to admit that I never have much emotion (even feel bored) when someone tells me “I can’t take my eyes off you”. I have a feeling like the person has played back a boring song he recorded which he has played for million times. really uninspiring! ayza! I like truthful and sincere words which can sometimes be only expressed by a man’s eyes and the way he acts to show his care about the person he adores. Sometimes it’s very simple but still makes you moved to tears as you can feel that it comes from his heart.

 I had an intensive interview today to select some people who will work in one of our program in some ethnic minority areas. Those who will be selected will work as a “bridge” to connect local ethnic minority people with a delegation of 52 Luxembourgers who will go to work in the places. There are some things I learned from the interview.

Firstly I can see that more and more young people now are very excellent compared with people of my generation. at their age i was still very naive, didn’t know much about life besides studying and still felt happy to be carefully cared by my parents but those people are trying a lot to find opportunities to help the disadvantageous people, earn living and actively do many significant things. Their skills, their foreign languages are such strong weapons. Those people really can make a better future for the country rather than people like us :).

Secondly one case of the interview makes me concerned about two things. When I asked a candidate what she would do when an ethnic minority person offered their food to a Luxembourger but he refused it because he didn’t like it…the candidate immediately told me that she didn’t have to care about the ethnic person and that she was serving for the Luxembourg team so she would only care about the Luxembourger’s feeling… I was surprised. The candidate was born in 1978- the oldest person in the list of candidates! She looks gentle, mild. She used to live abroad in different countries for 10 years and timely picked for her an international name called Angela. All of information in her CV shows things different from what I heard. She’s a Vietnamese and she’s applying to work in a development program supporting poor ethnic minority people but she said coldly as if she didn’t involve in the people she will work with… The thing is nowadays there are more and more people who are so selfish and appreciate foreign values more than their own values. I work with many foreigners and traveled to many countries but I really feel annoyed when I know a Vietnamese change her/his name into a foreign name for the purpose so called “to integrate into the international environment”. The truth is many of those use the representative noun “Vietnamese people” to say about negative things of ones from the country where they come from such as ” Vietnamese people are blah blah”. That’s ridiculous. They forget that in their body Vietnamese blood is flowing. No one, except them, forget that they are still Vietnamese when they say such things. And the most important thing is no one will respect you if you don’t respect yourself.

However I see that many people from my country who go abroad don’t want to make friends with foreigners or feel ashamed to say they come from Vietnam because they think foreigners look down on their nose!!! That’s a very negative thought. If you meet some foreigners who really think so, you should be more proud of yourselves and have more motivations to make friends with them to change their wrong impressions about you and make them respect your values. I remember when I first talked with a French housemate in Norway, he thought in Vietnam we didn’t know about football and didn’t have football teams!!! I laughed loud when i heard that and after sometime we could watch football together and he started to ask more questions to get to know more and more about my country and the people. in this case I think lacking information is the reason that makes others misunderstand you and surely your mission is just friendly providing more information to them. When you can change the situation, sometimes you will have simple moments of happiness or feel touched when you see your foreign friends try hard to correctly pronounce your name or the person you adore carefully write your full name (with the special character) in his presents or enjoy the food you cook… Then You know you are adored and respected as who you are, with your own values!

Back to the story of the interview. I surely won’t select the girl because she didn’t respect the ethnic minority people who she is supposed to work with if she passed the interview. But if she deserved being selected, i still have more reasons to be concerned. She’s the one one of my new colleague asked me to give some priorities because she will be his own “secretary” in the project site after the program is finished. he has a wife who is pregnant and still waiting for him in his hometown but he seems unashamed to say such thing to me. He doesn’t know I hate the most guys who are unfaithful. Who do they think they are when they give themselves a right to consider women as their toys and games. They hurt/ cheat two (or even more) women at the same time and still require those women to be loyal to them?! Ridiculous!!! I feel it disgusting when I see/ imagine such guys victoriously laughing or commenting when they talk about the women they are “playing” with. i want to vomit! such dirty, cheap,  selfish and cruel guys. Actually i have no word to say about such pathetic dirty PIGs ’cause they suck to the core! (Sorry pigs, I may insult pigs when I compare such guys with them :)))

If I were those women I would kick those guys out of my life immediately without a little regret. I have sympathy and feel compassionate for any women who are cheated or used by those guys so i will never do anything to support that kind of relationship even if the new colleague asked me to give him a favor. Well I was born in the zone of stars of equality. I am a Libra woman

Aw I love loyal guys, especially if that is the one who is very lovely and inspiring. You know :P.

You will always feel happy and warm in the heart whenever you think of such the decent guy. You know :P.

:*

When is the day I don’t have to drop tears for things like this anymore? Tell me!

Why is life so hard??? I have tried my best but now i am exhausted! Want to escape to an isolated island where I don’t have to see such things, such people anymore!

Nhìn ảnh Renato nhà bạn Hạnh bế trên tay em bé, mình tưởng tưởng ra cảnh chàng bế một đứa bé trên tay mà cứ buồn cười. Nhất là khi nghĩ đến lúc Mulia hét lên “Nooooooooooo…not that child” khi nghe câu trả lời của mình nữa!:) Không biết phải tưởng tưởng như thế nào mới đúng nữa. Một người ham chơi và có lẽ vẫn chưa hết trẻ con như thế thì sẽ thế nào khi trở thành bố? Hay thiên chức sẽ mách bảo các ông bố dù trẻ trung đến mấy cũng sẽ cảm thấy hạnh phúc như ông bố trong video clip này khi được làm bố? Có khi rất nhiều người cũng không thể tưởng tượng được đứa nhí nhố như mình khi làm mẹ ấy chứ

Dù thế nào thì cũng rất xúc động khi xem quảng cáo này và cảm thấy hạnh phúc khi nghĩ đến một ngày nào đó được nhìn thấy người mình yêu bế trên tay đứa con bé bỏng của hai đứa trên tay :).